I have always found myself being inspired by others.
Always looked up to other people, often strong capable women, further down the line, or closer to where I want to be in life.
They haven’t always been super famous, or super successful…but just represent something that I would like to see in myself.
I believe having a role model (or role models) in life is really important.
Role models are highly important for us psychologically, helping to guide us through life, to follow, to believe in, to aspire to…even if that means mimicking the traits of those we deem as successful to help us to become successful too. This is especially true if you struggle to find inspiration from the folks you see around you day in day out, or when you want something that the other people in your life don’t want, or can’t see right now.
When I was 13-14 it was my Drama teacher Miss Owen, she was a tough cookie, creative and looked like she had her life together (who knows if she did), then it became people I saw in the creative industries I wanted to work in, women I came into contact with who were 10 or 15 years further in their careers than me, and then recently as the digital world exploded more and more frequently they have become online individuals….women I see via my computer or phone.
Don’t get me wrong I also have women that I know in real life that inspire and motivate me, teaching me new lessons whenever I am in their company, but there is something about following someone from afar…without potentially ever getting to meet them in person which I feel has the potential to shift you in ways you might not expect.
Take Denise Duffield Thomas for example. I came across her by accident after googling something like “money advice for women by a woman” after being so sick of seeing books about money written by men (sorry fellas), and she popped up and I ordered her book “Get Rich Lucky Bitch” and then binge watched her stuff on YouTube before committing to working with her via her Money Bootcamp.
About 18 months later I heard she was coming to London and it was a no-brainer that I wanted to go see her speak…I felt a bit odd having a desire to actually meet her…but I did ask her a question during the Q&A, and she recognised me from her online community which still blows my mind.
That interaction, that experience of being in her presence, seeing how she did her thang…it changed my life.
Because not in a big headed way, I watched her on that stage with her fans from the other side of the world (she is an Aussie by the way) I can remember quite clearly thinking…
I could do that
Because that is what a role model should do. They shouldn’t be so far ahead of you that you think what they do is out of your grasp. They need to be relatable, similar to you in some way. Otherwise, what’s the point? It just becomes wishful thinking or you find yourself saying negative things like, “Its alright for her she’s rich, or comes from wealthy parents, or is super skinny or whatever it might be”
Sometimes we don’t expect someone to become a role model…they just arrive in our life.
Lisa Nichols was one of those people.
I read her stuff in the book The Secret but never paid her much mind, I think I even saw a YouTube clip of her at A Fest…a speaking gig I would love to get the opportunity to do one day, but still, I hadn’t really made much of a connection. It was only when I downloaded her book “Abundance Now” via Audible and started listening to it one day while out on a long run that I thought
I need to work with this woman
And by work I don’t mean 121, I mean, I just need to buy into what she is doing in some way.
Now, why did she strike a chord with me? On the surface, we are very different. She is American I am British, she is black, I am white, she is slim I am not, she is a multi-millionairess….I am most definitely not one of those. Even our styles as motivational speakers are miles apart, but there was something in her story, in her delivery, in her message that made me believe that actually, we are not that different.
Her story spoke to me, and I realised she had something important to teach me.
I felt like I had come into contact with her for a reason….I just wasn’t sure what that reason was while I was out on that long, long training run.
Well, guess what?
On Thursday I am flying out to San Diego to see my role model speak….and typing this I can’t believe I am saying this.
So I guess next weekend I will find out what that reason was….who knows what it might lead to?
It is crazy to think that I only really came across her in January, yet less than 5 months later I have invested time and money in flying half way around the world to attend a conference filled with probably thousands of other delegates (just like me) to just be in her presence. It sounds nuts, but I felt compelled to do it.
Look I am all about taking on BIG challenges, and leading an ADVENTUROUS life…if this is not adventure I don’t know what is.
I look forward to fully emerging myself in her event and sharing my experience and learnings with you guys, so this post is in a way to give you a heads up to where I am going to be for the next week, but also to ask you some questions…
- Who are your role models?
- How are you learning from them?
- Are you consciously modeling their behavior?
- Do you have the courage to actually get up close to work with them?
- How would you feel if you ever got to meet them?
Through my work with www.toofattorun.co.uk I have had hundreds of messages from women telling me I am an inspiration and their role model. It happens to me at races too, women coming up and telling me they wouldn’t be running without me. I have women sign up to my in person training days simply to meet me (now that feels strange) and I often worry that I am a disappointment in the flesh (this is obviously my stuff to work on)
I know though that as I have made this transition from running coach to life coach that being a role model is going to become more and more of a feature of my work. I will need to lead by example, live my BIGGEST life, go on the most amazing adventures…because this is what I want for all women, especially the ones brave enough to sign up and work with me.
So here are 5 ways you can reap the rewards of having a role model in your life
- Follow Them – Hook up with them on social media, have them lighten up your newsfeed, get notifications for when they are coming to town, or when they are publishing new content, new videos, new webinars, new stories. Subscribe to their YouTube Channel (Here’s mine for example).
- Take Time to Listen to Them – Spend an hour or so a week listening to them…I mean really listening. Download their audiobook, binge watch their stuff on YouTube, go see them speak if you get the chance…and if they are someone you know in real life, be in their company as often as feels comfortable.
- Buy from them – There is something which happens energetically when you buy something from someone you admire or believe you can learn from. An exchange of value. You give your cash, they give you an insight into their lifes work. It doesn’t have to be something super expensive. Buy a book. A webinar. A cheap coaching programme.
- Work with them – If your role model is a coach…for goodness sake find a way to join their programme. Don’t just look in from afar wishing you could get closer. Get bloody closer. I joined Lisa Nichols programme for less than £300…and I am sure there was a payment plan too. Don’t use money as an excuse…if anything, use their free content to help inspire you to raise the cash. You are only as broke as you believe yourself to be. The more you invest, the more you invest.
- Support them – If you are inspired by someone. Tell them. However, don’t hunt them down, stalk them, find their address, spam their inboxes…but shout about them on social media, tell your friends…help other people discover them too….without there needing to be a personal response, or an offer to help you out in exchange, or get something in return. Do it because it feels energetically right.
Over the next 10 days you will probably see a whole heap of stuff from me on social media and landing in your inboxes if you have subscribed to my lists, this is because I am currently enrolling new women into my Living a Bigger Life Mastermind…my 10 week programme that helps women work out what they want and then go for it.
You will know if this programme is for you.
It might be.
It might not be.
It might be right for someone you know…but they don’t know me yet.
Think about that.
Think about the gift of sharing content which shifts someones thinking, takes them to the next step in their lifes journey.
If you are serious about changing your life for the better and believe that I could be the right life coach to help you do this, then check out my programme. If you have resistance, are fearful, think it’s beyond your financial means, then drop me an email to email@example.com and let’s talk about it. Don’t let the voices in your head talk you out of creating a new relationship, a new way of living, a new and improved life.
And remember…people are watching you too.
You are someones role model
You are inspiring someone every day, just by being you.
So don’t stop growing and being the best version of yourself