Business is tough.
In fact, life is tough…really tough at times.
It doesn’t matter how much perceived success you have had in the past, or how much other people rate you, the fact remains you still have to get out of bed every day and do the work.
It is lonely too.
Well at least it is for me.
I am a single parent, and spend much of my time behind my desk in a corner of my front room trying to grow an empire. Tying to to convince women to buy into a sport that many believe should be free. Trying to support women who don’t prioritise their own health and happiness to do so. Trying to help PR companies and brands realise that this is a business and
No you can’t get to my audience of 50,000 women in exchange for a free sportsbra
So yeah, some days I simply can’t face sitting at that desk.
Somedays, like yesterday I simply want to lay on the sofa, watch crap TV and have a bit of a cry.
Yesterday was a bit of a corker though to be fair, triggered by a busy few months culminating in 3 big races, in 3 different countries, in the space of 3 weeks. I have also launched a new life coaching programme, overseen the start of my Sport England funded year long pilot in Barking & Dagenham and currently have two other online running programmes to focus on too…so I guess I am just a bit tired and overwhelmed.
I’ve also had a whole heap of personal stuff going on, including settling my 4 and a half year old into BIG school, and trying to organise childcare for this weekends Proffesional Speaking Associations annual convention…which up until late last night I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to make.
So yeah it’s been a tough few weeks.
Yesterday I think I needed some kind of release. A day at a spa would have probably done the trick, but instead a morning of rubbish TV and half a pack of stale digestive biscuits took me into a spiral of self pity and panic.
By 2pm it was getting really ugly.
I thought getting some fresh air might help, so I walked to the bank to deposit a cheque…the cheque however got stuck in the machine as I was paying it in, and as the assistant went to get the key to open the machine, with a bank full of people watching me, the tears started rolling again “Why me?, Why me?” yes it seriously was that embarrassing, I have no idea what that poor bloke must have thought of me.
Anyway, once home I knew there was only one thing for it, one thing which would get me out of this funk.
I needed to run.
Luckily Wednesday night is my new, once a week night of regular childcare…so I donned my new snazzy leggings which I am reviewing for an awesome company I have just discovered, and I made my way to the East London Runners weekly training session. I haven’t been in well over a year…and boy have I missed it.
I only did 5K, but it was a speedy (for me) 5K
On the way back to the station I walked through a cool looking urban underpass and thought, this would look good as a backdrop for a photograph so I spent 5 minutes or so trying to get a decent shot.
My sweaty puffy face couldn’t quite muster a smile…so instead I went for an intense “I don’t care stare”
The moral of my story. Sometimes life is shit. Sometimes it doesn’t pan out how you want it, even when you work your arse off. Sometimes you feel like packing it all off, selling up and moving to the outer Hebrides to milk goats. But mostly, sometimes you just need to take a day off, cry some ugly tears, watch a bit of Jeremy Kyle to remind yourself that it could be a whole heap worse and then pick yourself back up and find a way to energise yourself so you can live to fight another day.
For me running works for this every single time.