Hands up who writes to-do lists?
Who plans out their week? Gets super clear on their objectives? Knows 100% what they need to do today…and yet for some bazar reason, they still don’t do it?
Writing that proposal, going to the gym, making arrangements to see friends and family…we want to do these things, but we don’t want to actually do these things.
Doing a Facebook live, updating our website, following up on leads, doing a bit of outward-bound marketing?
We are resistant to them.
And then we feel shit about ourselves.
Why don’t we just get on and do these big and important things, instead of popping off for another cup of tea? Or scrolling through Facebook again?
Maybe because they are too much hard work, maybe because we have too much other stuff going on…or maybe we are just avoiding them like the plague because there is too much at stake if we actually do them.
I once had a client in one of my running programmes who told me,
“I’d rather be fat and not do anything about it than be fat and try to do something about it and fail… it’s OK to be a failure if you’re not trying, but if you are and you still fail…that’s just too much“
That comment hit me right in the gut.
Because I felt a bit the same, not so much about my weight but about my business…telling myself I do things last minute, and don’t care about perfection because that’s just my down to earth brand…when in fact its too scary to think about all that extra work and it not paying off anyway.
Some say it’s not failure we are afraid of but success, and that resonates too. Who would I be without the struggle? Would people still want to be my friend? Would I be even more lonely than I am now?
Resistance is a sneaky little bugger though because us high functioning folk are masters at covering it up with shiny shit, my excuses are like a flipping swarovski encrusted handbag…so flipping shiny you can’t help but be dazzled by them.
Today resistance looks like…
- Having a million windows open on my Mac so it slows down and I can’t possibly do any important work
- Doing the washing up…I hate doing washing up
- Reorganising my desk for the 4th time this week
- Signing up for another mini-course that I won’t probably do
- Buying another cute journal
- Spying on a few folks on social
- Popping to the shops to buy vitamins
- Creating graphics in Canva even though I have someone who does that for me now
- Moaning to some business buddies that I am struggling today
And gosh we are only just at 10am…I’ve been busy.
When in fact I know what I need to do.
I’ve been here before.
I know this feeling.
This is resistance brought on by fear, fear brought on by accepting what it is I really want, accepting what I really want because I know I am worthy of that level of success….and boy oh boy is that a difficult thing to accept about myself.
How dare I be worthy of incredible commercial success?
How dare I attempt to pull of my biggest launch ever?
How dare I change the trajectory of my life, my daughters life, her kids life?
How dare I muck up the status quo of being broke and maybe even a little bit broken?
I started this challenge of writing a blog every day until the end of 2019 to help me get out of my won way. I felt constricted. I felt tongue-tied. Like I didn’t know what I wanted to say. I felt pressure…but that was self-inflicted pressure…cos here’s the truth nobody is really willing to tell you…
Nobody really gives a shit about your business other than you.
People give a shit about their business, their family, their life…and that’s OK.
Writing these posts every day is helping me to care less about what I put out there, its helping me to get clarity over what I want to say, and its helping me to express myself.
There is no content plan, I don’t know what day to day I am going to write, and that feels brilliant. It reminds me of when I set up my blog The Fat Girls Guide to Running nine years ago…no plan, no ulterior motive…just a real appetite to share what was in my head, and what was in my heart.
Somehow I don’t feel any resistance to that.
So I will continue in this vein.
Next week I am revealing my plans for 2020…I’m doing this more for me than for anyone else, I have been keeping this all to myself, other than sharing with a few people in my circle of trust…but I feel agitated, I feel like a fraud not sharing my bigger vision for what is to come.
Once it is out there, I can just get on with doing my thing.
If you would like to join me on my next FREE challenge and get clear on your vision for 2012, join Dare to Dream which starts on the 2nd December....if you would like to talk to me about working with me in 2020 drop me a line…or you could wait until Tuesday when I make my BIG announcement.