Throughout November & December, I have committed to writing a blog a day, sharing my thoughts on everything that’s happening in my business and life as we spring towards the end of this decade.

Yesterday alas I did not blog.

I had a terrible migraine and instead lay on the sofa with the lights off for most of the day…feeling sorry for myself.

My 6-year-old daughter did her best in the evening to look after me and cheer me up, but it was a stark reminder of just how lonely it can be as a single parent…well in fact just as a single person.

Add to that the loneliness of running your own business, and having the pressure of being the sole breadwinner…yep you can pretty much say I had a big ole pity party for one yesterday.

I am feeling better today and trying to be a bit more positive.

Nothing changes until you do, right?

At the weekend just gone, I was with some girlfriends in The Cotswolds and we were having a right old giggle about being single, dating apps, first dates…and all that jazz…I’ve been single for 5 years which is a long old time…there have been dates but not a lot more than that.

But I’m not stressed.

I’m not panicking.

It only takes one person to be the right person, right?

But as a single woman in her 40s it would be very easy to get caught up in this fear based world which would have you believe that

  • I have to change everything about me to find a man
  • All the good ones are taken (the rest are gay)
  • I have to be on all of the dating apps and be out playing the field every weekend to snag one, it’s a numbers game after all

For me though it’s about trust.

And also knowing my value.

When you get super clear on what you want…a lot of the rest of that stuff just becomes noise. If you focus on pleasing everyone, being open and available to everyone, hoping you will find a diamond in amongst all that crap….you lose sight of who you are and what you are about.

I think marketing is a bit like that.

It can be real scatter gun out there on the internet….a heap of messaging done badly is simply hoping to bring as many leads in as possible, rather than just being consistently you and let them come to you when they are ready.

Clients should be brought in on a one by one basis, even if your business model is one to many (which mine pretty much is)

Each client that you acquire comes with their own quirks, their own talents, their own aspirations…sure they might be of a “Type” but let’s not overlook their individual personalities.

Let them fall in love with you by showing them who you are, by being super clear on what the offer is, what the promise is.

Are you in it for the long haul…or is it more of a quick fling?

Can they trust you to keep to your word?

Much of this is about vibe. There is a process of wooing clients, just as there is a process of wooing a potential love interest.

  • Position yourself in your best light (but don’t lie)
  • Be friendly and available
  • Know your boundaries and don’t be afraid to uphold them
  • Give them a taster (but don’t give too much away)
  • Leave them wanting more
  • Communicate throughout
  • When the time is right seal the deal

A self-love coach I followed for a while spoke about creating a shopping list for the man she wanted to meet, with real detail, down to the kind of clothes he wore, the food he liked, his height, his beliefs…everything.

She then trusted he would appear and said no to anything that wasn’t him…and then low and behold he appeared and from what I can see on social media (which I’m sure is not the whole story cos nobody’s relationship is that happy) they seem happy.

Getting clear on the vision is so important, and then drawing it into your life. Become a visionary for the relationships you want in your life, your clients, your business buddies, your coach, your support network… and don’t accept anything less.

Join me next week for a 7 days of dreaming and scheming, getting clear on the vision for your business (and for your life). Dare to Dream is my FREE challenge for small business owners who want to have their BIGGEST and BESTEST decade yet.

Sign up today. We start on Monday

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