Change is hard.
It is scary.
It can make you feel vulnerable.
It can often feel like the journey ahead of you to make the change you really want to make is so difficult, so complex and so overwhelming that it is easier just to stay exactly where you are.
Change can also take time.
Or does it have to?
How long does it take to change a lightbulb…and no this is not a joke.
Well, it depends on if you have a new one to change it to, if you have a stall to climb on to reach, and if you know how to do it.
But for most people, the act of changing a lightbulb takes less than 60 seconds.
How many of us though have left a broken lightbulb for weeks, maybe even months because we haven’t prioritised it enough, it has become one of those things that never quite gets done on your list…and you know it grinds on you every time you find yourself in darkness, or switching the switch before remembering…and then the moment you get the job done and you have light again…ah the joy the relief…and then moments after you forget about it altogether.
Because the change is complete…you can now move on to the next thing which needs fixing.
Now I don’t work with women who need fixing, but I do work with women who want to change. Perhaps for some it starts with wanting to change their habits, become a little bit healthier perhaps, or maybe they want to change their careers, or their relationships, or maybe even how they view themselves.
I have wonderful strategies, tips and tools to help them with this…but they have to want to change in the first place and be willing to do the work.
These changes don’t have to take a lifetime though, a lot of the changes we want to take literally only take the time it takes to make the decision to change,
I want to stop drinking diet coke
I want to stop leaving my bed unmade each morning
I want to start getting a manicure once a week
I want to stop saying yes when I really mean NO
Then do it.
Too often we long for the change, the results the change will give us, but we are reluctant to actually make the change, we have resistance to it, because our natural reaction to change is fear…fear of the unknown…it is a human instinct, which is why I believe change is something we need practice in.
And sometimes we wait for permission to change.
When I was younger I desperately wanted to be a writer and I used to write (See the irony here) to my Uncle Les (My Nans Brother who was a writer) and tell him of my desire to become a writer, begging him for advice or connections he might have to make it more of a reality. His response was always the same,
“Julie…if you want to become a writer, you have to write”
And that is what I eventually did. It took me a while to make the change and actually just get on with the job of writing. 8 books and hundreds of blog posts later I now teach other people how to get their ideas into book format (my next course is coming up on the 25th May in case you were interested)
But the point is…sometimes the things we want are literally already there, and if not they are just a few actions away.
We get so overwhelmed with the options, the hoops we think we need to jump through and so we do nothing…then we get frustrated that everything is still the same, or maybe even getting worse.
Decide today to change.
Just one thing.
It doesn’t need to be a big thing…or maybe it is.
Change can happen fast or take a little longer…it doesn’t need to take forever though.
I help women…
- Think differently in one of my 1 hour talks
- Learn to run in 5 weeks (I have one of those courses starting soon)
- Train for a marathon in 8 months
- Write a book in 26.2 hours
- Completely overhaul their lives in 90 days
What could you do by committing to working with me over the next few months?
My Living a Bigger Life Mastermind starts on Monday 28th May and lasts for 90 days
I have a few spaces left for 121 clients who I work with for 6 months
Drop me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org if you would like to discuss either of these, happy to arrange a FREE 30 minute telephone call to see if I can help in just half an hour.
Make that change.
I have always found myself being inspired by others.
Always looked up to other people, often strong capable women, further down the line, or closer to where I want to be in life.
They haven’t always been super famous, or super successful…but just represent something that I would like to see in myself.
I believe having a role model (or role models) in life is really important.
Role models are highly important for us psychologically, helping to guide us through life, to follow, to believe in, to aspire to…even if that means mimicking the traits of those we deem as successful to help us to become successful too. This is especially true if you struggle to find inspiration from the folks you see around you day in day out, or when you want something that the other people in your life don’t want, or can’t see right now.
When I was 13-14 it was my Drama teacher Miss Owen, she was a tough cookie, creative and looked like she had her life together (who knows if she did), then it became people I saw in the creative industries I wanted to work in, women I came into contact with who were 10 or 15 years further in their careers than me, and then recently as the digital world exploded more and more frequently they have become online individuals….women I see via my computer or phone.
Don’t get me wrong I also have women that I know in real life that inspire and motivate me, teaching me new lessons whenever I am in their company, but there is something about following someone from afar…without potentially ever getting to meet them in person which I feel has the potential to shift you in ways you might not expect.
Take Denise Duffield Thomas for example. I came across her by accident after googling something like “money advice for women by a woman” after being so sick of seeing books about money written by men (sorry fellas), and she popped up and I ordered her book “Get Rich Lucky Bitch” and then binge watched her stuff on YouTube before committing to working with her via her Money Bootcamp.
About 18 months later I heard she was coming to London and it was a no-brainer that I wanted to go see her speak…I felt a bit odd having a desire to actually meet her…but I did ask her a question during the Q&A, and she recognised me from her online community which still blows my mind.
That interaction, that experience of being in her presence, seeing how she did her thang…it changed my life.
Because not in a big headed way, I watched her on that stage with her fans from the other side of the world (she is an Aussie by the way) I can remember quite clearly thinking…
I could do that
Because that is what a role model should do. They shouldn’t be so far ahead of you that you think what they do is out of your grasp. They need to be relatable, similar to you in some way. Otherwise, what’s the point? It just becomes wishful thinking or you find yourself saying negative things like, “Its alright for her she’s rich, or comes from wealthy parents, or is super skinny or whatever it might be”
Sometimes we don’t expect someone to become a role model…they just arrive in our life.
Lisa Nichols was one of those people.
I read her stuff in the book The Secret but never paid her much mind, I think I even saw a YouTube clip of her at A Fest…a speaking gig I would love to get the opportunity to do one day, but still, I hadn’t really made much of a connection. It was only when I downloaded her book “Abundance Now” via Audible and started listening to it one day while out on a long run that I thought
I need to work with this woman
And by work I don’t mean 121, I mean, I just need to buy into what she is doing in some way.
Now, why did she strike a chord with me? On the surface, we are very different. She is American I am British, she is black, I am white, she is slim I am not, she is a multi-millionairess….I am most definitely not one of those. Even our styles as motivational speakers are miles apart, but there was something in her story, in her delivery, in her message that made me believe that actually, we are not that different.
Her story spoke to me, and I realised she had something important to teach me.
I felt like I had come into contact with her for a reason….I just wasn’t sure what that reason was while I was out on that long, long training run.
Well, guess what?
On Thursday I am flying out to San Diego to see my role model speak….and typing this I can’t believe I am saying this.
So I guess next weekend I will find out what that reason was….who knows what it might lead to?
It is crazy to think that I only really came across her in January, yet less than 5 months later I have invested time and money in flying half way around the world to attend a conference filled with probably thousands of other delegates (just like me) to just be in her presence. It sounds nuts, but I felt compelled to do it.
Look I am all about taking on BIG challenges, and leading an ADVENTUROUS life…if this is not adventure I don’t know what is.
I look forward to fully emerging myself in her event and sharing my experience and learnings with you guys, so this post is in a way to give you a heads up to where I am going to be for the next week, but also to ask you some questions…
- Who are your role models?
- How are you learning from them?
- Are you consciously modeling their behavior?
- Do you have the courage to actually get up close to work with them?
- How would you feel if you ever got to meet them?
Through my work with www.toofattorun.co.uk I have had hundreds of messages from women telling me I am an inspiration and their role model. It happens to me at races too, women coming up and telling me they wouldn’t be running without me. I have women sign up to my in person training days simply to meet me (now that feels strange) and I often worry that I am a disappointment in the flesh (this is obviously my stuff to work on)
I know though that as I have made this transition from running coach to life coach that being a role model is going to become more and more of a feature of my work. I will need to lead by example, live my BIGGEST life, go on the most amazing adventures…because this is what I want for all women, especially the ones brave enough to sign up and work with me.
So here are 5 ways you can reap the rewards of having a role model in your life
- Follow Them – Hook up with them on social media, have them lighten up your newsfeed, get notifications for when they are coming to town, or when they are publishing new content, new videos, new webinars, new stories. Subscribe to their YouTube Channel (Here’s mine for example).
- Take Time to Listen to Them – Spend an hour or so a week listening to them…I mean really listening. Download their audiobook, binge watch their stuff on YouTube, go see them speak if you get the chance…and if they are someone you know in real life, be in their company as often as feels comfortable.
- Buy from them – There is something which happens energetically when you buy something from someone you admire or believe you can learn from. An exchange of value. You give your cash, they give you an insight into their lifes work. It doesn’t have to be something super expensive. Buy a book. A webinar. A cheap coaching programme.
- Work with them – If your role model is a coach…for goodness sake find a way to join their programme. Don’t just look in from afar wishing you could get closer. Get bloody closer. I joined Lisa Nichols programme for less than £300…and I am sure there was a payment plan too. Don’t use money as an excuse…if anything, use their free content to help inspire you to raise the cash. You are only as broke as you believe yourself to be. The more you invest, the more you invest.
- Support them – If you are inspired by someone. Tell them. However, don’t hunt them down, stalk them, find their address, spam their inboxes…but shout about them on social media, tell your friends…help other people discover them too….without there needing to be a personal response, or an offer to help you out in exchange, or get something in return. Do it because it feels energetically right.
Over the next 10 days you will probably see a whole heap of stuff from me on social media and landing in your inboxes if you have subscribed to my lists, this is because I am currently enrolling new women into my Living a Bigger Life Mastermind…my 10 week programme that helps women work out what they want and then go for it.
You will know if this programme is for you.
It might be.
It might not be.
It might be right for someone you know…but they don’t know me yet.
Think about that.
Think about the gift of sharing content which shifts someones thinking, takes them to the next step in their lifes journey.
If you are serious about changing your life for the better and believe that I could be the right life coach to help you do this, then check out my programme. If you have resistance, are fearful, think it’s beyond your financial means, then drop me an email to email@example.com and let’s talk about it. Don’t let the voices in your head talk you out of creating a new relationship, a new way of living, a new and improved life.
And remember…people are watching you too.
You are someones role model
You are inspiring someone every day, just by being you.
So don’t stop growing and being the best version of yourself
I launched a brand new website this week, and there was absolutely nowhere to hide.
Now this is not the first website I have ever launched…in fact this is probably the 4th or 5th. But with all of the other ones though I had the luxury of hiding behind a brand or someone elses business…no such luck with this one.
juliecreffield.com is all about me and that shit is scary.
Do you find that when you start putting yourself out there like this, you know in life or in business all those mind goblins start having a go at you? I think of my mind monkeys as little traffic wardens circling my car with their camera’s and ticket pads just waiting to pounce, waiting to give me what’s for.
- Standing up in public to give a talk
- Choosing a new hairstyle or look
- Entering a new relationship
- Launching a new business
- Taking up a new hobby
They all require the same about of resilience, which I prefer to describe as my “Care not, just Fucking Do It” attitude. But as with many of the principles of my coaching, it is not just about attitude, it is about action too.
So often I have head people describe me as
Trust me I am not fearless. I am fearful most of the time. Even writing and posting this article I feel the fear…the only difference is I don’t let my fears get in the way of achieving the outcomes I have imagined in terms of the goals I set for myself?
Because I understand fully the impact achieving those goals will have. It is much like putting on your first pair of lycra running leggings and heading out the door in them and I’ll tell you how.
Lycra is a strange old fabric which kind of gets a bad press really.
There were the lycra clad aerobic instructors of the 80s and then the lycra clad cyclists of the 90s…now it’s all about the runners I reckon. The reality is if you take part in any kind of fitness activity Lycra is going to become your friend pretty soon. It has to. Even if it isn’t the most flattering of materials…it is integral to your enjoyment of sport, besides you are sure to find it in lots of your everyday clothes too…ladies you try finding pants without lycra!!!
When I first started running more than 15 years ago I went our in cotton tracksuit bottoms, a t-shirt and a pair of Rebock classics. I didn’t know any better. Gosh if I ever tried to reenact that there outfit now I doubt I would get to the top of my road. When I run now I wear tight fitting lycra running leggings, even in my lumpy bumpy size 18 body, I put on those bad boys and I hit the streets without a care in the world, because I couldn’t give a flying fart what other people think of me when I am out running.
Long gone are those days where I run after dark, or in secluded backstreets…I am loud and proud now.
The wearing of Lycra in my plus size body has taught me a lot about being seen over the years, lessons which I think are absolutely transferable to life and to business. Think about it, if I hadn’t had the courage to be seen in my lycra, to have been photographed in Lycra…to appear on national TV in lycra, there is no way I would have had the profile nor the experience of coaching the thousands of women I have worked with over the past 4 years, and this website wouldn’t even be a thing.
So here are 4 of the lessons that Lycra has so kindly taught me visibility
Hiding your imperfections only draws attention to them
Have you ever noticed a person on the beach on a really hot day covered head to toe in clothes because they think the sight of them in a swimsuit will draw attention to them? The thing is the curious mind in all of us makes them a target as you try to work out their story. The truth is on a beach and in life, people are normally so preoccupied with thoughts of their own insecurities they barely register those around you…and if they do?? See below.
Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter
I have spent my whole life being heckled. Obviously while out running in my plus size body I am a bit of a target, but these heckles are not always restricted to when I am out training. People somehow find the need to shout out all kinds of stuff in all manner of places. What I learned from this though is I am never going to stop showing up as me…and if that means wearing tight-fitting clothes to play sport or red shoes to go dancing then so be it. I have turned up to really important meetings in my running kit, appeared on national TV, and given talks to 1000s of people in Lycra…knowing that they can see all of my lumps and bumps because I have an important message to share. But if my lumps and bumps are what they are focussing on, then that says more about me than it does them.
People respect openness and honesty
In a world where everything is photoshopped and styled to within an inch of its life, I think most of us find seeing someone in their true state kind of refreshing. Just because you have the glossy instagram feed and a different designer handbag each day it doesn’t make me want to work with you any more….because nobody knows if all of that is fake anyway? The more you can show up without the crutches of perceived perfection the more people will want to be around you. Now don’t get me wrong I am all for making an effort, having your nails done, wearing nice clothes when appropriate, but nobody can look perfect and polished 100% of the time. There is nothing more empowering and bonding than a big bunch of women red-faced and sweaty after a race…and add mud and you are on to an absolute winner.
Your body is an important part of your story
Of course people make snap judgements about you based on your appearance, in fact, I am writing a blog post at the moment due to go out next week called “Just because I am fat doesn’t mean I am new to sport”, but regardless of other peoples reaction to your body, you get to choose how you treat it.Our bodies in many ways tell a story, and by embracing and unlocking the confidence to accept, understand or even share your story it becomes easier to change that story or boldly embrace it, whichever you chose. Oprah Winfrey in her glorious speech at the Golen Globes said, “Speaking your truth is the most powerful tool you have” it is why I am not a big fan of those hold me in pants.
It scares me that so many teenage girls drop out of sport because of fears around being judged for being sweaty or being seen in fitness clothes. It worries me that in the business world women hold themselves back because they feel like they have to have the perfect hair, the perfect smile, the perfect backdrop to show up on things like Facebook Live or YouTube. It saddens me that women hold back from pursuing new relationships thinking they will wait until they have lost weight, or have a better wardrobe to woo a future mate.
You might not be jumping at the chance to get out there this weekend in your Lycra, but however you show up, make sure you show up as confidently as you can as yourself. Life is far too short to be held back by fears around how you look, especially when you have so much to offer this world outside of all that. What you look like does not define who you are.