I often think about the idea of loneliness.
I’ve often found myself feeling like this which is weird.
How can you be lonely as a child when you had 5 siblings, or as a teenager when you were popular and had a wide circle of friends and lots of hobbies.
Or even now when I have great friends and family, and a brilliant network of peers, colleagues and acquaintances.
Maybe it’s not even loneliness it’s about a lack of true connection?
One of my clients left this comment on a thread I posted about this, summing it up so beautifully.
I am married and mother of two.
I feel lonely even when I’m very busy with my family.
I asked myself why and I found an answer. You feel lonely when the understanding of others is missing. When no one is really caring of how you feel, what you want or what you dream of. You feel lonely when you are overwhelmed with your chores and duties. You feel lonely when you are so tired and you have so many things to do before you can sleep.
I asked myself what could help. It’s very easy: People who care. People who do things for you. People who ask you who you are and how you are and what you want.
In these times more and more people just care for themselves and don’t think of others. I myself try to do what I want others to do to me even when I feel lonely doing it.
Powerful stuff hey?
I have been creating things to help with my sense of loneliness since I was a child….the semi-public library I set up in my brother’s bedroom aged 8, the kids club I set up in our garden shed aged 11, the community dance company I founded in the year 2000…I just always had this need to draw like-minded people towards me…to be of value, to offer something others might need or want.
I set up Too Fat to Run to give plus size runners a place to connect, to feel less alone, and it has been a lifeline, not only for the thousands of runners I have coached and supported but for me too…I couldn’t have achieved what I have without their reciprocal support.
I am drawn to groups of people striving for the same thing…it’s why I love retreats, both running them and taking part in them. I love the shared experience. The shared memories. The shared shifts…if that is even a thing.
But something has been happening of late which has been making me less happy to commune, particularly in the online world. Where I used to love my little Facebook communities…and I have created and taken part in many…like seriously loads.
I have wanted to retreat…hide away (which is a bit tough when its kinda connected to your livelihood)
But I have become frustrated with the fairness of it all.
Like you build a tribe, a community of 23K women interested in what you have to offer…and then the technology decides to limit your access so you have to pay for the privilege of communicating with them.
Nah…thats not on.
Equally, as a consumer, you sign up to go through some kind of learning experience, with a community aspect and the technology decides that it won’t display the information you need to see in the order you need to see it.
And it mucks up the vibe, big time.
I have always been such an advocate of Facebook and other social media sites, in their ability to bring us together around shared interests and experiences, but I have also seen a shift that says it has become overwhelming and just another thing to manage, navigate and curb in some cases.
But still my desire to connect is there.
My desire to help others connect is even stronger than ever.
But I want to find new ways of doing that…that don’t add to the problem.
And I think I have found it.
Two weeks ago I launched something pretty exciting, a new way of hosting one of my communities…a community which is all about connection, and women understanding and supporting one another.
I was apprehensive about it…because this had been my VIP offering, my higher priced life coaching programme.
But one of my driving values is fairness and equality…and excluding women because of the price felt wrong.
So now instead of it being a 12 week intensive programme, I have launched a mobile phone based membership programme, exploring the same issue of how to live a bigger more fulfilling more purpose-filled life…but with community right at the heart of it.
There are 100 women in there right now, and on the 1st May we start a 31 day visibility challenge. We are still beta testing it to be honest, and the price of $12.99 per month will go up in the future to better represent the value…but its feeling so much better.
Over the long weekend it was wonderful to see women popping in, to give updates, to ask for advice, to connect with each other. I know I for one was more mindful around not wasting my weekend, and staying on top of my feelings.
So if you are a woman who is about building up other women, and forging new and interesting relationships in a safe space online, and you are curious about what your life could look like if you lived it in a bigger more intentional way…then this might be the community for you.
Head on over and take a look.
I’d love to know what you think about the format, and I would love to get to know you. No, like seriously.
Living a Bigger Life is the community for women who are done with playing small. Join us for just $12.99 per month with no minimum monthly contract.
With no distractions, adverts, or negative vibes and the ability to pick and choose what you see, and from whom…this really is the social network you have been dreaming of.