So it has been a whole week since my TEDx talk video about Living a Bigger Life went live on YouTube, you can watch it by clicking here if you haven’t seen it yet.
And here’s the thing.
I am super chuffed with how it has turned out, I think I came across as confident, knowledgeable and passionate about my subject
AND…I don’t completely hate how I look in the video…which is just as well because I talk a lot about not caring what you look like
We are not what we look like
But this is the irony of my work.
I believe 100% that we are held back as women because of the fear of judgment, and I am I guess more in tune with this than some, but I can’t kid you that I don’t have moments where I worry about what I look like and how people might judge me.
More than 1800 people have watched my video over the last 7 days and the feedback has been incredible, but I wanted to share with you some of the things you might not be able to tell from that 13-minute video.
- My rehearsal was shockingly bad.
- I didn’t stick to my script.
- I wasn’t wearing what I had planned to.
So, I found out I would be doing a TEDx months and months before the big day. The lead up is intense, and feels like it goes on FOREVER!!!!
When I submitted my proposal it was based on a very loose idea…that of,
If women are not playing sport because of the fear of judgement, what else are they not doing
I wasn’t 100% sure how I would fill 15-18 minutes….like clearly I can talk for that long, I am a professional keynote speaker for goodness sake, but it was more around what I would focus on. What I would include, what I would not…how much of myself I would bring to the talk.
I literally spent 3 months crafting that talk, writing and rewriting it….sharing it with valued colleagues for feedback.
But a few things happened in the last few weeks which forced me to change it in the final few days
- I went to a conference in San Diego with Lisa Nichols and learned some incredible things about creating impact through your speaking, by sharing your authentic story
- I launched a new online programme “100 Ways” which was going down a storm, I had also collated some new data from surveying 100+ women from this group
- I had some dental work which affected the way I spoke…like seriously there were some words from my original talk that I literally could not say any more
So when I turned up on the rehearsal the day before I felt completely underprepared as my talk had changed significantly from the previous one which had been just 2 or 3 weeks before.
I think to see the space adorned with its TEDx branding and the red-carpeted dot brought it home to me just how important this talk was.
So during the rehearsal, I tripped over my words, lost where I was in the talk…oh yeah and swore a lot
I went to sleep that night gutted with myself for not being better prepared.
But the following day I refocussed, and with eh support of one of my speaking buddies, I worked on the talk and did a whole heap of relaxation and visualisation techniques, to ensure I didn’t let the nerves get the better of me.
I was last on.
Which added even more pressure…save the best to last and all of that.
I had decided not to get into what I would be wearing until the last minute, just in case I spilled something on myself.
So with 30 minutes to go, I headed backstage and started getting ready. Hair, makeup, clothes…should have been the order, but I got dressed first and then started to do my make up….and much to my horror my foundation squirted onto my white short and all over my red jacket…I could have cried.
I had spent the best part of 3 months working out what to wear and in the last few minutes before going on stage I had to change it somewhat.
Luckily I had another white top with me, and baby wipes took most of the makeup off my jacket (as I didn’t have another one of those), in the end, I didn’t bother changing from my Primark jeans that I’d been wearing all day into my more expensive River Island ones…as I suddenly thought to myself,
This has happened for a reason…it shouldn’t matter what I wear on that stage I just need to show up as me
I stepped onto that stage after a very long day with the simple belief that what would be would be, like whatever I delivered on that stage would be enough.
The talk I give would be the talk I give
And I think that attitude served me well because no less than 3 minutes in I got completely lost in the script and jumped right the way to the end of the talk.
I could see the stage manager sitting with the script folder shaking her head like
Where the F is she going with this?
But it was OK.
I knew the talk well enough to bring it back. All those months of practicing meant I knew my content inside out, even if it wasn’t completely the order I wanted it to be in.
So there you have it.
It wasn’t perfect
But neither am I
Neither are you.
We don’t need to be perfect, we just need to show up as yourself.
That is enough.
I was enough.
You are enough.
If you have been inspired by my Living Bigger TEDx talk and would like to use the Living Bigger message to work on your own life goals, no matter how scary then give us a shout.
My next group programme starts on the 1st October you can find out more about it here