I have always found myself being inspired by others.
Always looked up to other people, often strong capable women, further down the line, or closer to where I want to be in life.
They haven’t always been super famous, or super successful…but just represent something that I would like to see in myself.
I believe having a role model (or role models) in life is really important.
Role models are highly important for us psychologically, helping to guide us through life, to follow, to believe in, to aspire to…even if that means mimicking the traits of those we deem as successful to help us to become successful too. This is especially true if you struggle to find inspiration from the folks you see around you day in day out, or when you want something that the other people in your life don’t want, or can’t see right now.
When I was 13-14 it was my Drama teacher Miss Owen, she was a tough cookie, creative and looked like she had her life together (who knows if she did), then it became people I saw in the creative industries I wanted to work in, women I came into contact with who were 10 or 15 years further in their careers than me, and then recently as the digital world exploded more and more frequently they have become online individuals….women I see via my computer or phone.
Don’t get me wrong I also have women that I know in real life that inspire and motivate me, teaching me new lessons whenever I am in their company, but there is something about following someone from afar…without potentially ever getting to meet them in person which I feel has the potential to shift you in ways you might not expect.
Take Denise Duffield Thomas for example. I came across her by accident after googling something like “money advice for women by a woman” after being so sick of seeing books about money written by men (sorry fellas), and she popped up and I ordered her book “Get Rich Lucky Bitch” and then binge watched her stuff on YouTube before committing to working with her via her Money Bootcamp.
About 18 months later I heard she was coming to London and it was a no-brainer that I wanted to go see her speak…I felt a bit odd having a desire to actually meet her…but I did ask her a question during the Q&A, and she recognised me from her online community which still blows my mind.
That interaction, that experience of being in her presence, seeing how she did her thang…it changed my life.
Because not in a big headed way, I watched her on that stage with her fans from the other side of the world (she is an Aussie by the way) I can remember quite clearly thinking…
I could do that
Because that is what a role model should do. They shouldn’t be so far ahead of you that you think what they do is out of your grasp. They need to be relatable, similar to you in some way. Otherwise, what’s the point? It just becomes wishful thinking or you find yourself saying negative things like, “Its alright for her she’s rich, or comes from wealthy parents, or is super skinny or whatever it might be”
Sometimes we don’t expect someone to become a role model…they just arrive in our life.
Lisa Nichols was one of those people.
I read her stuff in the book The Secret but never paid her much mind, I think I even saw a YouTube clip of her at A Fest…a speaking gig I would love to get the opportunity to do one day, but still, I hadn’t really made much of a connection. It was only when I downloaded her book “Abundance Now” via Audible and started listening to it one day while out on a long run that I thought
I need to work with this woman
And by work I don’t mean 121, I mean, I just need to buy into what she is doing in some way.
Now, why did she strike a chord with me? On the surface, we are very different. She is American I am British, she is black, I am white, she is slim I am not, she is a multi-millionairess….I am most definitely not one of those. Even our styles as motivational speakers are miles apart, but there was something in her story, in her delivery, in her message that made me believe that actually, we are not that different.
Her story spoke to me, and I realised she had something important to teach me.
I felt like I had come into contact with her for a reason….I just wasn’t sure what that reason was while I was out on that long, long training run.
Well, guess what?
On Thursday I am flying out to San Diego to see my role model speak….and typing this I can’t believe I am saying this.
So I guess next weekend I will find out what that reason was….who knows what it might lead to?
It is crazy to think that I only really came across her in January, yet less than 5 months later I have invested time and money in flying half way around the world to attend a conference filled with probably thousands of other delegates (just like me) to just be in her presence. It sounds nuts, but I felt compelled to do it.
Look I am all about taking on BIG challenges, and leading an ADVENTUROUS life…if this is not adventure I don’t know what is.
I look forward to fully emerging myself in her event and sharing my experience and learnings with you guys, so this post is in a way to give you a heads up to where I am going to be for the next week, but also to ask you some questions…
- Who are your role models?
- How are you learning from them?
- Are you consciously modeling their behavior?
- Do you have the courage to actually get up close to work with them?
- How would you feel if you ever got to meet them?
Through my work with www.toofattorun.co.uk I have had hundreds of messages from women telling me I am an inspiration and their role model. It happens to me at races too, women coming up and telling me they wouldn’t be running without me. I have women sign up to my in person training days simply to meet me (now that feels strange) and I often worry that I am a disappointment in the flesh (this is obviously my stuff to work on)
I know though that as I have made this transition from running coach to life coach that being a role model is going to become more and more of a feature of my work. I will need to lead by example, live my BIGGEST life, go on the most amazing adventures…because this is what I want for all women, especially the ones brave enough to sign up and work with me.
So here are 5 ways you can reap the rewards of having a role model in your life
- Follow Them – Hook up with them on social media, have them lighten up your newsfeed, get notifications for when they are coming to town, or when they are publishing new content, new videos, new webinars, new stories. Subscribe to their YouTube Channel (Here’s mine for example).
- Take Time to Listen to Them – Spend an hour or so a week listening to them…I mean really listening. Download their audiobook, binge watch their stuff on YouTube, go see them speak if you get the chance…and if they are someone you know in real life, be in their company as often as feels comfortable.
- Buy from them – There is something which happens energetically when you buy something from someone you admire or believe you can learn from. An exchange of value. You give your cash, they give you an insight into their lifes work. It doesn’t have to be something super expensive. Buy a book. A webinar. A cheap coaching programme.
- Work with them – If your role model is a coach…for goodness sake find a way to join their programme. Don’t just look in from afar wishing you could get closer. Get bloody closer. I joined Lisa Nichols programme for less than £300…and I am sure there was a payment plan too. Don’t use money as an excuse…if anything, use their free content to help inspire you to raise the cash. You are only as broke as you believe yourself to be. The more you invest, the more you invest.
- Support them – If you are inspired by someone. Tell them. However, don’t hunt them down, stalk them, find their address, spam their inboxes…but shout about them on social media, tell your friends…help other people discover them too….without there needing to be a personal response, or an offer to help you out in exchange, or get something in return. Do it because it feels energetically right.
Over the next 10 days you will probably see a whole heap of stuff from me on social media and landing in your inboxes if you have subscribed to my lists, this is because I am currently enrolling new women into my Living a Bigger Life Mastermind…my 10 week programme that helps women work out what they want and then go for it.
You will know if this programme is for you.
It might be.
It might not be.
It might be right for someone you know…but they don’t know me yet.
Think about that.
Think about the gift of sharing content which shifts someones thinking, takes them to the next step in their lifes journey.
If you are serious about changing your life for the better and believe that I could be the right life coach to help you do this, then check out my programme. If you have resistance, are fearful, think it’s beyond your financial means, then drop me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s talk about it. Don’t let the voices in your head talk you out of creating a new relationship, a new way of living, a new and improved life.
And remember…people are watching you too.
You are someones role model
You are inspiring someone every day, just by being you.
So don’t stop growing and being the best version of yourself
Ever have a brilliant idea pop into your head that is super inspiring and exciting, and maybe even a bit scary? But you know it is something you really want to do?
You start playing out all of the tasks that lay ahead of you to achieve the goal, and before you know it you have talked yourself out of it…telling yourself it was a silly idea anyway?
The thing is, anything worth having in this life normally takes a bit of work, requiring time, effort, resources, information…it is never straightforward, and for that reason, big life changing plans can feel overwhelming, scary…complex.
It is no wonder we stay in our comfort zone.
But what if we made a deal with our self to just take the very first step, with no pressure, no expectation, no concern about the steps after that? What if we just took action of the very first thing on the list and dealt with the rest of it at a later date?
Would that be super scary?
When I signed up for the London Marathon back in 2011 I could barely run to the top of my road. If I had worried about a training plan, the right trainers to wear, how to fuel, the fact I’d have to train with other people, the chaffing, the pain, the fatigue…well I would never have got round to running that race…and my life would be so much different to where I am now,
When I look back at all of the significant achievements in my life, I can trace each and every one of them back to some kind of mundane reasonably pedestrian step…and action that often required something as simple as saying yes to an opportunity, typing my details into a website or handing over my credit card.
Don’t for a moment think I am minimalising the effort it requires to take the first step.
It is scary, it takes courage…it requires a massive leap of faith.
But god does it make you feel alive.
And most of the time it leads you to places you could never have expected.
Over the years I have got better and better at taking these first steps…I find it easier to identify them, to act on them more promptly, to appreciate their power.
It has helped me channel my fear and kick-start some incredible adventure and it could do exactly the same for you.
Next week I embark on a new adventure, again instigated by a first step.
I bought a book.
A book from a lady I look up to, a speaker and coach I aspire to be like in many ways.
She lives in the USA so the book was the closest I could get to her for the time being, but my intention even at the time of purchasing the book was to work more closely with her, to see her in action.
A few days after reading the book I found myself taking part in a FREE webinar she was hosting….and then I found myself taking out my credit card and buying her (reasonable I thought) online programme.
Then a few weeks into this programme I received an email stating as part of this course delegates got a free ticket to her conference in SAN DIEGO!!!!!!
I must admit at this point for a while my excitement was momentarily overtaken with my mind monkeys making me question how this could ever be possible. Childcare? Finances? Workload? Fear?
But then I found some cheap flights, arranged an air b&b apartment and childcare…and now on Thursday I fly to a part of the world I have always wanted to visit, to meet a woman I know will change my life.
Next week I go to see Lisa Nichols at her event called…wait for it….”How to speak and write to make millions” ha ha, I know its very American, a bit in your face…and not really on brand for me and my “No Bullshit” way of doing things.
But Lisa Nichols and I are not that dissimilar, we both come from quite humble beginnings and we both understand the power we have to change our lives and the lives of others through inspired action and self-belief.
Next week is a big week for me, in fact May is a massive month for me…as I launch the next round of my Living a Bigger Life group programme, a programme that helps women to be more decisive, to take inspired action, to have faith that things will unfold once you take the first step towards your goals.
60 women have gone through this programme so far, 60 women who were brave enough to take the first step…not knowing really what was to come, trusting that I would look after them, that I would help them move towards their goals and get enormous value from their investment.
Lucy from Brighton said,
This course changed my life!
I have realised that normal people can do extraordinary things, and now I’m really considering my purpose and myself-worth
She took just one simple step, and the rest is now unfolding. In the last 3 months she has committed to launching a new business, is writing a book…but also she reports back on smaller more intangible results around speaking up more at work and being more confident.
How would that feel for you?
How would it feel to just have to take one step and know all this other stuff is just round the corner?
The May cohort starts on the 28th May. You have until the 18th to sign up or until the available places have sold (Whichever comes first). There is also an earlybird price for anyone super ready to take the first step and sign up before the 11th May…in fact, I tell you what? Take the step right now, right this moment, before today is up and I will throw in a 121 intensive session with me…to really kick start and support your goal.
Click here to find out more about this transformational programme
It is just one step…not just with my course…but with anything you want from life but have been putting off, convincing yourself it’s not really for you… cos it’s too expensive, it’s not the right time, and of course you will do it at some other point in your life.
But if not now…then when?
Take the first step…see where it might take you.
40,000 runners took that step just over a year ago, and on Sunday 99% of them crossed the finish line of the London Marathon heroes. They covered 26.2 miles…a distance that started with just one step.
A decision which made each and every one of them a hero.
It took just one step….to sign up to something which they believed would change their life.
Right…so I’m just going to say it outright….
I love cucumbers
And before you start thinking all kinds of smutty things, I am talking about the long green vegetable often enjoyed in salads and posh sandwiches.
I love cucumber in salads, as crudites with humous, on the side of curries, in yogurt dips…I just really like the fresh crunchy taste.
So chances are if you look in my fridge you will always find a cucumber or two.
However, this hasn’t always been the case.
A few years ago, I can’t remember exactly when as it is a time I have obviously chosen to bury deep down in my memory vaults…the price of cucumber went up from £0.50p to £1…like a 100% increase overnight.
I was in severe shock.
A whole pound for a cucumber…are they kidding?
Now I must have been on a bit of a budget with my shopping at the time, but maybe even not…but, either way, I decided it was an absolute outrage and I boycotted my favourite vegetable in protest, on the grounds that I simply couldn’t afford the price increase.
A few weeks into my protest though, I realised the only person that was being hurt by my protest was me, I missed my beloved cucumbers.
Plus…of course I could afford them, I was just choosing to tell myself that I couldn’t.
So the following day as I did my weekly shop, I splashed out and bought two.
Now, why do I tell you this story?
Well, don’t worry I am not sponsored by the trade association of Cucumbers or anything, it’s just that the slightly humorous episode really taught me a valuable lesson about my money mindset and my quickness to announce that things are out of my price range even when they are not. It is a habit that I had had for the longest of time, judging all kinds of experiences and potential purchased based on this weird sense of affordability rather than value.
Since that time which I now refer to as my “Cucumber Protest” I continue to monitor the rise and fall of prices in the salad aisle, but it rarely affects my buying decision…heck sometimes I even opt for organic or those cute little snacking cucumbers which are very pricey in comparison…and it never fails to remind me of how lucky I am that I can indeed afford fresh fruit and vegetables at all.
Is there something larger at play though when it comes to this idea of what we can and can’t afford?
I think so.
When I started my fitness business this question of affordability and value continued to pop up.
I would be promoting one of my very affordable (in my mind) online programmes to which some women would happily sign up, but some women would go out of their way to tell me that they couldn’t afford it…which made me feel really bad.
I would receive emails with quite detailed explanations about current financial situations, and the fact that they “simply can’t justify the expense”. Now we are not talking massive amounts of money here, normally something in the region of £20 or so.
Look I know there are lots of people on low incomes, and for some people, £20 can feed their family for a few days so this is not a dig at them. But I do believe that some of these “I can’t afford it” declarations were more about not seeing the value in what I was offering, or a brilliant cover up for what was really going on which was…
I want to do it, but I’m scared of doing it, what if I fail, let me just stay in my comfort zone and convince myself and everyone else of a reason not to do it
That there my friends is what we call money blocks….and sadly a lot of women have them without even knowing about it.
I see it in the running world all the time, especially when it comes to women wanting to take part in races, overseas trips, retreats etc…the decision that they can’t afford it is made super quick, without A. doing any real research, and B. taking any kind of action to find the money required or look at alternative ways of making it happen.
Hey…there is no judgment here because heck a few years ago this was me too.
That was until I came across Denise Duffield Thomas money mindset extraordinaire, speaker and author of “Get Rich Lucky Bitch”…the first women, in fact, I had ever heard talk about money mindset and wealth creation for women…it was like a whole new world.
I joined her Money Bootcamp in 2015 at the height of me “I can’t afford it” and “I’ve never got any money” life and I have never looked back, so much so that wealth has become one of the core themes of my work too…I am by no means an expert, but I truly believe that women are held back by their sense of worth which is often reflected in their financial situations, so my work is very much about health, wealth and happiness these days.
On Monday next week, I am dipping my toe into sharing my views on this with my audience, showing specifically how by challenging your money mindset and breaking through your money blocks you can live a life full of adventure. Because it’s no good me inspiring you to come up with exciting life goals if your bank balance simply won’t allow you to progress with them.
So why not join me for my 100% FREE (see no money blocks needed here) 10-day challenge “10 ways to make money for adventure” where I will share how I have attracted more than £25,000 worth of adventure into my life over the last 4 years, sharing my step by step approach of raising your own funds to do something similar.
Click here for more info and to sign up
I will be speaking a lot more about Denise Duffield Thomas over the next few months, she has been an incredible role model to me since starting my business, and her moneyboot camp has been truly transformational. Check out her story about how she manifested 6 months of FREE luxury travel, a woman after my own heart….and look out for some further info from me about how you can work with her this year.
I have been a proud affiliate partner of her programme for the last year (because I believe in it 100%) and the cart for the next live round of her Money Bootcamp programme opens in a week or so, and if you sign up using my link I have a bonus worth almost £1000 to offer you, so watch this space.